Anxiety Disorder

Anxiety Disorder - how meditation helped me.

I started Vipassana in 2001. A friend mentioned it to me and that same evening I had booked myself onto a course on the internet. I was really looking forward to it because I had been looking for something for a very long time and somewhere deep inside I knew: this is it.

The course was very different from what I had expected. I thought it should be about relaxation, blanking the mind, etc. The first three days was like a concentration exercise, concentrating on the breath, calming the mind. It was hard. Not only was I not accustomed to sitting for up to 12 hours a day on a mat on the ground, I also was unable to keep thoughts from getting into my mind so I was getting upset about not being able to concentrate properly. I had pain everywhere, was unable to find any comfortable position whatsoever. There were loads of other people, whom I did not know but was unable to speak to.

On the 4th day, Vipassana Meditation was taught. Although it was quite an experience, it created something I had not expected. Lots of things came up from my past, lots of thoughts and mental pain. It was hard to face. But finally, after about 10 days of this, Metta Meditation was taught and after that we could speak. It was a bit strange and by that time I did not really feel like speaking any more. I did feel very relaxed that day.

The real interesting part came afterwards. All the stuff that had come up during the meditation seemed like something of the past, something I had lost. As if a burden had fallen from my shoulders. It felt incredibly liberating. I kept on meditating daily and became better and better at the technique and more stuff started falling of. Not always was this easy. Usually it started with periods of anguish, the pain of letting go. But when I finally let go it was just great. It made me into a much calmer and more relaxed person. Although anxiety and stress still come occasionally, it does not really matter any more that much - I can let go and relax much quicker and easier.

It has been the greatest gift anybody could have given me. I am so much more aware, relaxed and happy then I every was. I can face the world, while before I just made due. I have no stress, only the occasional storm but you always know that they will pass and they do not happen very often any more. Even the difficulties that sometimes come up are something that pass and when you come out the other side, your are a happier person. So much weight will fall off your shoulders. Just try it ... what does it matter if you try. You will not change that much if you do just one course so try and see if you like it. If you continue, you know now what can happen and what you might have to face. Then again, you might not. Not everybody is the same. Be Happy.

More in the next posts on anxiety disorder

Anxiety Symptom

Anxiety Symptom

With meditation I managed to get on top of anxiety symptoms. In the next posts I will tell you how.
Vipassana Meditation means seeing things as they really are. It means that you are not just looking at things, but really seeing what they are all about. Seeing through the mask, seeing the truth. Ultimately, this path leads to wisdom and with this wisdom comes that stress, anxiety and depression fall away and a relaxed person is left, who is unconcerned with the little problems of every day life, but knows how to handle them with wisdom.

This all sounds like a passage from the I Ching, but it is not. It really is what Vipassana not only claims to be, but is. If you can get yourself to practise diligently, not just on a 10 day course but daily thereafter, also helping others and sitting more and more courses, you will find this is the truth.

It is a bit like a small child asking the question: why? Why are things the way they are? Why am I supposed to wear this and behave like that? Why do we eat the things we eat and say the things we say? As an adult who has learned to simply accept these things as a matter of fact, it is difficult to answer these questions. Also, we do not like to think about them and their possible consequences. What would happen if we suddenly decided to change our lifestyle, our clothes, what we eat and drink, what we value and care for? Our environment, our parents, family and friends would be shocked! You can't do that! You are supposed to ....etc. They would pressure us back into the way we are accustomed to.

But this is exactly what Vipassana does, it asks the question WHY? And you have to face it and answer it. And then you have to ask yourself if that aspect of life is really where you want to be. Does it really help you. And then you can make a decision if you wish to change that in your life or not. It asks the question if you are really doing something because YOU want it, or because OTHERS want it. Your choice, your truth.

More in the next posts on how meditation helped me with anxiety symptom.

Anxiety

Welcome to my new blog about anxiety symptoms. I have suffered from various anxiety symptoms for many years until I learned to overcome them through meditation.